end of a long weekend. soooo tired and happy. this weekend encompassed many parts of me and i am exhausted from expressing it all.
orpheus was powerful, sexy and heartbreaking..the evangenitals were raunchy, dirty and loud this weekend and evangina was sweet sweet sweet.

i am all of these things at once most of the time and instead of feeling like i should pick one i am slowly releasing into every corner of them all.

i can't stop playing.

the more i do what i want to do, the less i can tolerate anything else. in rehearsal last night i wanted to play all night, and today at work i was restless! i went to see the betty blowtorch movie at hollywood forever the other night, she was a family member of some friends of mine and it was hard to watch with them but she inspired me at the same time, what a sweetheart.
i have always been told that i do too much, i should slow down..i disagree.
i believe i am doing what i was put on this earth to do because these are the things that feed my soul and it is the quickest and most direct channel to let god out.
fuck being small and making others feel comforatable, fuck worrying that am am not being humble enough by singing and playing and being my big bright beautiful self. as i detach from worries, dependencies and false securities..my world gets bigger and brighter every time.
the money comes, the love is there, every need is already met.

xoxo

so i haven't written here in a while..what have i been doing?

living life. my plate is full again, a good kind of full, not crazy busy but just one nice thing after another. a lot of settling down. i have taken to going to the farmers market weekly, and started cooking too. been in rehearsals every night and my head is pretty quiet these days. next weekend we have 3 shows..evangenitals, evangina and orpheus. it's funny, i went to a yoga for creativity class the other night and i thought "my life is full to bursting with creativity"

it is what it is, and it's good. i realize can do the same amount of stuff i always have with half the effort and worry.

it was also brought to my attention recently by someone how many little 'tricks' i have to keep people at a distance, i mentioned it to another friend and she said she had always known that about me.
not sure that there is anything to DO about that but notice it.