I'm waiting for Juli to pick me up..
The Evangenitals are going to Disneyland!!!

Happy New Year
Love Love Love

Mom is back home now, we had a lovely time.
I kept her out until 1:45am on Christmas eve,
she was enjoying the party and playing along.

These are the things I have been doing since she left..
Rest. Hike. Run. Play(music). Read. Soak. Cook(soup).
Eat(soup). Dance. Listen. Drink(tea). Laugh.

Simple Simple Simple.

I am not very good at holidays.
Seriously, I can never remember when they are..or how quickly they come up and every year ask countless times "wait..what day is Christmas again..Tuesday? or Wednesday? What day is it today?"
My concept of time is always a bit askew, and honestly I think that every day is important. I guess I just don't usually wait for a holiday or a birthday to tell someone how I feel about them. In fact, the pressure of some sort of expectation of intimacy that is on a calendar causes me just a little bit of uncomfortability (my favorite word that is not actually a word, unless you're looking it up in the urban dictionary..I digress).
Last year Juli forced me to have Christmas, she even made me a stocking at her house and I gave her a cookbook of 1000 vegetarian recipes and some Crocs :) After we opened gifts, I went to my annual Christmas get together at Beth's house in Hollywood, where all of the holiday loners gather and watch every badly edited Christmas slasher film we can get our hands on (although one year we watched Matt Dillon in "Over the Edge"..a classic)

This year I decided to buckle down and do the holidays differently. I went up north to dad's for Thanksgiving and it was so lovely, I have the best dad in the world and we talk on the phone a lot but really don't hang out enough. I then invited my mother down to MY house for Christmas. She just retired 2 weeks ago and is very excited to take the train, I'll pick her up Tuesday. Mom came to visit earlier this year for the first time in 10 years and we had a great time, I took her to see the Cheech Marin collection at LACMA, she is a huge fan, go figure. I love getting older and finally being friends with my mother, I am able to appreciate her more every day. Christmas eve we will go to a tamale party in Highland Park and on Christmas day..the movies (something at the Laemmle though, I think I will spare her "Black Christmas", "Silent Night, Deadly Night" or better still, "Christmas Evil")
I am looking forward to it.

zen traffic.


I started a new job,
it's been about 4 months actually.
I am enjoying the work, the people, the routine, the creativity, the $$, the meetings, the travel, and strangely enough I have found that I don't even seem to mind the traffic.

It takes 45-50 minutes to get to work in the morning, and 1 to 1 1/2 hours to get home..I just got home.
That is on top of actually working a 9 or 10 hour day.
(I have been equally happy working part-time, close to home and walking..
but that is another story, this one is about traffic)
Last night I was on the phone (in traffic) with a friend in Oakland laughing about how much I appreciate the opportunity to see my city at a much slower pace. How I get to see the lights of downtown in a way that I may miss if I were passing it along at a faster clip. How I like the opportunity to sit still and practice patience, sing to myself, catch up on phone calls (headset!) and just BE THERE.
I have yet to wish I were somewhere else when I'm in it, I seem to have accepted (for now) that it is part of the day and as valuable as any other part of my day.
I looked up possible options; bus, train, bike..but for now this seems to be it.
I have come up with some great thoughts, meditations, ideas, and just plain silence during these times..My car stereo was stolen years ago when Juli and I were on a lunch break at work (elsewhere) and I never bothered to replace it.
I appreciate the quiet time.

For someone who has spent most of her life always wishing she were "somewhere else" I consider this great progress and I am grateful for it.

**the Evangenitals had our 1st strategic planning meeting for 2009 Q1 last night..
I am deeply in love, and there is more to come..

It's a rainy stay-at-home night. A bathtub night.
An "I'm going to make a pot of soup and read" night.
I remember when nights like this used to frighten me, as if by staying in, I would somehow end up missing the exact moment when I would receive the answer I needed to fix whatever I thought was wrong. (Does that make sense?)
I don't care anymore, or perhaps this is the moment, and I've found the answer.
I couldn't wait to get home in the rain and fill up the tub. I like the sound of my own heart beating in my ears when I lie still in the hot water and listen.
(Has anyone else done that lately?)
Anyway, I am looking forward to hearing it..

I love to wake up slowly.
To reflect on any dreams, write in my private journal, make tea and check email.
I usually read Iyanla Vanzant's "Until Today" every morning. I find her daily meditations to be the most real and refreshing and she's funny!
Yesterday I woke up sick after a long week of traveling and work, and a long weekend of car repairs, rehearsals and shows. I was able to spend the entire day in bed, something I haven't done in a long time and I realized it had been too long. I think spending a day alone in bed is essential on a regular basis.
Been thinking recently about history, and how if we don't pay attention to it, we usually will repeat it. For me, reflection is key to not repeating my own history.
Just a thought.

The Bessie show was a hit, I have so many talented and darling friends and I was reminded of that Sunday night. Watching Mary from Cobralilies (Monolators) dancing through the crowd playing saxophone made my night!

I love going to bed early and waking up early. It's quiet in the mornings and this morning was foggy and still. I fell asleep at 8:30 (!) last night, after playing music with Sara for a few hours. We laughed so hard my face hurt, she kept playing guitar and singing like Joni Mitchell and it was inspiring me to play metal bass lines. I am, after all, from the east bay.. :)

Looks like the Bessie bits may come together after all, time will tell. Rehearsing tonight with Mike Ibarra from Killsonic and Cynthia Cynthesizer, a pianist that was referred to me by my friend Arlene from Smells like Flan and Cobralilies. Juli C and I spoke today about possibly incorporating my little Bessie bits into an Evangenitals show one day.

Making tea tonight, eating some dinner before running to Boyle Heights for rehearsal and packing to leave for Dallas at 5 am tomorrow, life is busy but great!

I'm back..back in the cyberspace saddle again.
It's been almost a year.
I needed a break, a retreat into privacy, silence and self care..

Where to begin?

Today is the most beautiful day I could have imagined.
I awoke to a sunny blue sky, so I put on my all stars and walked out the door, cut through Sycamore park, over the 110 fwy bridge and up the hill to Debs Park.

Sometimes I can get caught up in minutia, and the best way to get a fresh perspective is to literally get a "big picture" view. I sat on the hill above Highland Park overlooking Downtown LA and thought about how much I love my life.

I reflected on each person I could think of. The ones I love, the ones I play music with, the ones I call my friends and even the ones who have challenged me and given me opportunities to learn to take better care of myself and keep growing. I thought of all the things I have done, all that has happened and all the things that are in front of me still to do and I got very excited.
It's overwhelming, this life.

Coming down off the hill I ran over to our quarterly board meeting for Smartgals. New and exciting things to come from us in 2009 and if you are reading this you shall be kept in the loop. By the time I got home the sun was hiding behind the clouds and I am home with tea and slippers. I have my music spread all over and I am practicing as I write this..getting ready for the Bessie show and finally learning to play bass after wanting to for 10 years.
On another note, was listening to the Los Angeles Master Chorale the other day and wondering about that part of my musical life as well, it has been asleep for a while to focus on other things. I may find myself a small practice room to start vocalizing daily again.
I have never stopped wanting to do it all.

My full time lovers, the Evangenitals are gearing up rehearsals for recording a new album and life just keeps getting better and better, if I let it.