oh boy.
juli and i are gonna do it duet style tomorrow night..can you hear my heart pounding?

the sweetie pants are gonna give it up brutally. beautifully.

we are doing the love songs. the never before heard songs. the ones that even the boys don't know. the ones we do in the mornings over coffee and laugh at what lovely dorks we are. the ones that make me cry.

to defy all coolness, to open open open, sans sarcasm and dark humor, that is the objective. can we do it? can we show them how much we love them until even the blackest of hearts bleed?

to turn inside out~perhaps not fearlessly but in spite of fear.

show them what it looks like, allow them to feel what it feels like to feel.

i am thinking that it is nice to be among friends.

whoops!
haven't written in a while..i have been relaxing more and as a result it seems i get more done. i'm not sure how that works but it does. it is sunday, almost noon and i am still in my pyjamas (i like that word..pyjamas..) drinking coffee and not much else, hanging out alone~my favorite only child pastime~i need a lot of time alone, i really like it. actually i am hanging out with the animals, miss kitty and juli's new baby tortises, who i am completey smitten with. those little guys fit in the palm of my hand and they are sooooo cute. i don't have a computer at home, so i hang out in jules house when she is at work and write on her computer.

got home at 4 am, yesterday was visiting..hiking..dancing. spent a few hours driving all over mt. washington with a friend who wants to move there, we had an adventure, my favorite kind of day..no plan, no direction..fun. then i went to a going away party for a friend who got into UC Santa Cruz, and then dancing with a fellow musician. he told me a story of someone who was really mean to a fellow musician at a club, disrespectful and public~kind of like high school behaviour. we stayed up late talking about how there are people in the world who are mean and insecure and abuse their power, but that we (evangenitals) try to be patient and loving toward them, they are tiny humans after all and know not how transparent they really are. i believe that is referred to as "staying on our side of the street, and keeping it clean" as well as "loving our neighbors"
juli and i are doing a show next week at the derby with just the 2 of us~evangina. i believe alanna lin has agreed to do a solo set with us, as well as my friend jaymee carpenter. then the following week brett has a solo show. we are mixing things up a little, meeting people, making friends, spreading out.
it is still really easy and fun.