Feeling homesick lately. The thing is..there is no such thing as "home". Missing something that doesn't exist. It's a weird feeling, I'm sad. Melancholy, a pang.
Perhaps a vacation is in order.
Gotta go up north and visit my dad.

Talked to him yesterday and he said
"Kid, this isn't good. Us getting older and being so far apart, I don't like it at all."

neither do i

Juli wrote me a "love song to a best friend" We have been trying to practice it but I cry every time and then we both laugh because it is so ridiculously real and raw and everything that you ever want to tell your best friend.

My friend Andrea is driving down from SF today

to visit for the weekend. I may have her meet me at the Hangar, I'll be down there with Killsonic tonight mastering our new CD.

Just went downtown to meet with Mike, my voice teacher. colburnschool.org
I love working with him, he understands my traditional/non-traditional musical menagerie and helps me with whatever weirdo off-beat thing I bring him and thinks it's cool. He told me today that I must have a day of rest! I am so excited and want to do so much that it is hard to slow down. I don't think I remembered to tell him I am going to Maine
http://www.pbdgroup.com/TENT.html to perform in August though...

Picking up Juli from the airport today. I always get myself in trouble when she's not around. It's over but I think I'm going to have to ask her not to leave the country anymore because I'm like a bad housecat who can't stay out of emotional messes while she's gone. :) I'm in love with the idea of being in love. Must be more careful where I put the fragile heart, I am not as tough as I pretend to be.

I had to get up today to clean her house since I have had two apartments since she left and I've made myself at home in both.

Friday was my birthday and I performed at the Hangar gallery downtown hangar1018.com
When I get pictures I'll post them, I just called the drummer of If, (the band I sang with) Rob and he said he'd e-mail them to me soon. Those guys were fun to work with and a good experience for me. I don't get nervous singing in front of people anymore and they made it really easy. Plus I got to work with my friend Joey who is an amazing bass player and really great person.
The Evangenitals have a show at Jacquiepallooza next weekend and we need to practice a lot this week. Especially the new songs that Juli wrote while in Switzerland!

Can't wait...I'm going to get her in 1/2 hour! I've missed her a lot...

Poor Brett, I just interrupted his lunch and dragged him downstairs in the heat to pull a couch off the top of a heap of junk I found outside because I was convinced that it was made for me and I NEEDED to have it in my living room immediately.
It turned out to be broken and ugly and Brett shook his head at me and said

"Girl, you really don't need to do that anymore"

no couch.

I can't help myself. I am an old school Bay Area dumpster diver and the value of something goes up tremendously for me if it is a found treasure :)

Just sent a message to Jules, we have got to link to Eagle and Talon. Those girls are soo cute!
Juli is writing new songs for us, she IM'd the words to me last week and I am so excited for her to come home so we can get started. I am starting to think about our trip to Maine in August, I've never been there but I know it is beautiful.

I love the east coast.

I also sent a long e-mail to my mom, I can't believe I am going to be 34 on Friday. I certainly didn't make any long-term plans for my life so..it's moment to moment!

Sang last night with my other band, Killsonic. It was my first time doing a show as the only singer. Everyone said it was great but..I know I am pretty hard on myself most of the time so rather than thinking about how much better I could have been, I am trying to tell myself that to be alone and fearless is plenty. I want to be the best I can be at everything NOW!! I don't want to have to "make progress"..

I want to be THERE! NOW!

:)

This is my FAVORITE kind of day!!!

When I wake up and it is not too cold but the sky is white I know that everything is going to be romantic and beautiful today. It's like home..San Francisco weather. Santa Cruz weather. Mendocino weather. I suppose L.A. is my home now but when it's foggy like this I dream of the Bay..

I am getting ready for my hike before work and if I close my eyes I can already see downtown LA and the purple jackaranda (SP?) trees with a backdrop of white. Too bad it doesn't get foggy here.