should i stop being such a freak in my blogs? i mean, am i just way too fucking honest? is it weird to post how emotional and fearful i can get? should i keep my growing pains and emo rollercoasters to myself? whatever i am going through will pass eventually, everything changes. last night i talked to my mom. i don't speak to her often, there is a lot of old stuff there that keeps me distant from her, but when i can move past that and just talk to her, i remember that she has done a lot of healing herself and that she is actually really great. she reminded me that i have a lot of old hurtz from when i was very very tiny, almost too young to remember. she reminded me that i am adopted and that can be a lot for a little kid to handle and that perhaps it is time to deal with some really old stuff. she reminded me that once upon a time i ran and got loaded and stuffed my feelings for many years and a lot happened during that time. she reminded me that i was a really smart and good kid, and that i have always been sensitive and a little fragile.

"you are a singer honey, and an artist, and your feelings are just right under the surface all the time that's all"