saturday is my 35th birthday. this year has been incredible and emotional and so so painful but it feels like growing and shedding and seeing, really truly seeing. seeing things as they are, not how i want them to be and it is tough. anthony de mello says the most painful thing an individual can do is to truly see.

my friend amy just said to me, "you can't blame yourself for decisions you made while you were asleep..and now you are just waking up and it is beautiful..some people never wake up"

i cannot stay small forever. but growing feels like ripping and tearing and i understand wholeheartedly why people stay asleep.

it is time i realize i am meant for greater things and get out of the way.