I woke up this morning to the phone ringing, it was my dad. He said "I sensed something in your voice yesterday and it feels like something is up, what's going on? Are you okay kiddo?" (sigh)
My pop is psychic, an intuitive of the real variety. Not for any other purpose but personal these days but he KNOWS. I told him he is right, something is up.
I am changing, again. Falling together.
Things that used to work, don't anymore. I am getting clearer about who I am and what I want. I am realizing my own worth for the first time and praying for strength to act accordingly. Slowing down in a whole new way. Stopped running. I have been "busy" for so many years I don't even know if I want what I have. Old ideas are no longer true and new ideas are becoming actual possibilities. Things that used to work, don't work anymore. That which used to be acceptable, is no longer. I am losing the ability to do 10 things at once, I don't want to do it anymore. I feel as if I am waking up~again. The thing is too, the more popular this music gets, the less anonymity I have. My DAY JOB started out as a way to put myself through school. I quietly and anonymously hid in the back and worked hourly while leaving to go to classes, voice lessons and auditions. When asked "what do you do?" I said.."I am a student, a singer"
Now here I am working 4 years and 2 promotions later and I look at myself and think, I am still a student, and still a singer but~
what do I DO?

Anyway, these days I am thinking about Quality vs Quantity.
I need less, but the "less" needs to be MORE.

I breathe differently.